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In a relationship, his behavior affects you (and vice versa) and sometimes his less developed traits will have a negative impact on you.A growth oriented guy will want to strengthen his character and work on it.A lot of women write to us begging to understand why their relationships always fail…why guys treat them badly…why they always get hurt…why they can’t get a guy to commit.When I hit that stage in life where I realized I was done dating for the sake of dating and wanted to settle down and find “the one,” I realized that the kinds of guys I liked to date weren’t necessarily husband material and I had to really examine my list of wants and needs, and figure out the differences between the two.Doing so made all the difference and suddenly, the damage cases what were once did nothing for me.The common thread in most of these cases is these women are choosing men who clearly are not husband–or even relationship– material and hoping by some chance he’ll suddenly transform and be the knight in shining armor she wants.

You trust that he won’t leave you unexpectedly, that he is genuine, that he does mean what he says.Maybe he doesn’t give you emotional support when you’ve had a rough day and instead just gives you matter of fact advice in a direct way.His no nonsense approach to solving problems might be useful to him in the workplace, but it might be hurtful to you sometimes when he doesn’t empathize with what you’re going through and instead just tells you what to do about it, or gets impatient by the fact that you’re upset over something he doesn’t consider to be that big of a deal.The only way to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together and this starts with open communication.MORE: What No One Tells You About Good Relationships 9.Sure, he’s has emotional issues, he’s jaded, he’s struggling at work, he has no direction, he still acts like a frat boy even though his acting like a drunk idiot and getting away with it days expired years ago, but there’s a really great guy underneath all that and as soon as we deal with all this other stuff, then we’ll have an amazing relationship. You might think you need a guy who is tall and strapping and charismatic and a CEO of a major company, but a guy with those credentials might have a host of other qualities that wouldn’t be good for you, that wouldn’t fulfill your fundamental emotional needs.My husband is the opposite of the “ideal man” I had envisioned for myself and even though he doesn’t have certain qualities that I used to consider requirements, he is exactly what I need and that was clear to me, and everyone around me, very early into our relationship.He respects everything about you- your thoughts, ambitions, opinions, the things you say, the company you keep, your job.He doesn’t make you feel bad about your life circumstances and he appreciates the person you are and the choices you have made. He is willing to put effort into the relationship If there is a problem, he wants to find a way to solve it, he wants to work harder, to be better, to be his best self.With the right guy, you won’t be afraid of brining up certain things for fear of rocking the boat.You know he respects you and will see what you have to say as valid and important.


  1. Is the sociopath being ‘nice’, are you confused? So, you have read lots of things on the net, and possibly books about sociopaths. You are still in a relationship.

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