Although most people couldn’t handle working in a bar and staying sober, there are people who do. Your boyfriend needs to decide once and for all that he is more invested in his relationship with you than his relationship with alcohol. If he isn’t getting enough support through AA, he should consider getting himself into therapy with an addictions counselor or a psychologist. He is really good looking, funny, shows interest in learning more about me (sadly uncommon! Physically, he is moving much slower than I would prefer. Because I live in the city and he doesn’t, I have planned all our dates, so I don’t feel like I’m learning what he likes to do.I Have been dating someone for a little over a month. He also feels that he went to AA for preventive measures.. He has told me a little bit of his past with drinking. AA is a wonderful organization but it isn’t for everyone.
I feel like he is already emotionally committed, and that he doesn’t want to “screw it up.” It’s putting a lot of pressure on me.Dating someone you really like should have an extremely high “” (unlikely, but you never know), the fact that you are feeling angry and triggered by something about the situation is important. Those feelings don’t have to be fair or logical to be true.Bottom line: It’s okay to be awkward and nervous and go slow, but it’s also okay to hold out for someone whose brand of weird intersects comfortably with your own. I’m 29 and want a healthy relationship can this happen.. That’s one of the many issues that he could work through with his therapist. If he is incredibly honest with himself, he might be one of those who can pull it off. He felt extremely guilty for that night at dinner.. and I have never been in this situation or even know how to deal with this. Al-Anon is an organization for partners of recovering alcoholics. If your boyfriend does get into therapy, you might ask to be included now and then to talk about how you can support his recovery and what changes he is willing to make to deserve your trust. It’s too early to decide whether he is the one for you. For your part: You might find it helpful to take a look at the website for Al-anon.I once dumped a very nice man after a week for ending every text to me with a sadface emoji. As you figure all of this out, spend a little time with friends and/or family who make you feel great and who light you up. Pet your pets and brush their pretty hair/rub their scales. Potential boyfriends are here to complement that awesomeness.Do solo stuff that makes your body feel good, whether that’s exercise or eating something delicious or getting really great sleep or other, uh, solo stuff. Above all, pay attention to how you are feeling and how you are enjoying yourself. Whether or not the relationship works out, participating in recovery work will teach you more about how to maintain your own boundaries and how to avoid being pulled into someone’s addictive behaviors. That day he decided to he needed to go to an AA meeting and his going to re-check himself. You both have work to do if you want to give it a chance.