One friend recently relayed her own online-dating saga to me: I was messaging with a guy recently and he was kind of aggressive—messaging frequently and whatnot.Eventually we exchanged numbers and he started texting incessantly.Tweten, who is 27 and works for an entertainment company in Los Angeles, has been on and off Ok Cupid since 2010.She acknowledges that these types of messages come from a relatively small number of users.She’s had mostly good experiences with online dating, and she met her last serious boyfriend on Ok Cupid.Still, the crude, unsolicited messages are a kind of a bitter aftertaste to what is usually a fun, if sometimes fatiguing, process. You can see the desperation.”Tweten is part of an growing contingent of women who are dedicated to exposing the shady, hostile, and crass entreaties they get from their digital suitors.Rather than ask out the one cute girl laying out on the quad, however, the man can ask 50. Bombarded by all these "admirers," many women feel overwhelmed and leave scores of messages unreturned.And why bother to ask them out in all different ways? One blogger recently ran an Ok Cupid experiment for which he set up five fake male and five fake female profiles.
Number one, it felt a little racist, and number two, why on earth would I run errands for someone I haven't even met yet?So I sent him, "This just got too weird for me, so I'm calling it off.Hope you have a safe flight." At which point he texted me five times about how it was just a stupid joke about how I was turning his hair white because I was giving him such a hard time.After a week, all of the women had received at least one message, the most attractive women had received hundreds, but several of the men remained un-contacted.This kind of rejection, day after day, can foment a kind of deep resentment among the male daters.“They're trying to make us feel bad about making them feel bad,” Tweten said.” wrote a Texas “dating coach” named Harris O’Malley. ”Earlier this year, a male Reddit user tried setting up a fake, female Ok Cupid profile using a picture of a friend (with permission).Seconds after he created his username, he received his first message.We had made plans to go to one of my favorite spots downtown at 6 p.m.I never promised dates before then because it's so hard to get away from my job.Tweten posted an aggressive note she had recently received from a man who had sent her the same Ok Cupid line three times in the course of a month, asking her if she’d like to chat.After ignoring it repeatedly, Tweten finally wrote back, “No.”His response: “WHY THE FUCK NOT? “If we don't respond, they come back and say, ‘you're a whore.’ If we do respond, we get yelled at and called names.